The Field Museum Or: How the Passenger Pigeon Went Extinct

Ah, Natural History Museums. Was there ever an institution more friendly toward a short attention span?

I would argue not.

Where else can you spend an afternoon staring into the cloudy, glass eyes of (sometimes) poorly taxidermied animals, see a 3D movie about T-Rex, take a walk into the “lives of african bushman” and then have an ice cream cone all in the same place?

The Carnival!

That’s right, the Natural History Museum is the carnival of museums.

A Tasteful and Educational Exhibit at the Field Museum, Chicago

See an exhibit on the plants of the world, then see a 3D movie about how the changing environment and mankind are destroying the environment and driving animals to extinction and then, joy and wonder! Go and see the animals we’ve made extinct (or are giving a good try toward making extinct) taxidermied into a stiff mockery of life. Witness as a wild boar is killed (again) by two (already dead) tigers!

It’s riveting stuff.

On a slightly more serious note, the other day I realized that I’d never seen a passenger pigeon. They went exitinct in the 1800’s and, while I’d seen the Audubon illustration, I’d never seen one stuffed.

Enter the Chicago Museum of Natural History which, evidently, contains the entire North American population of passenger pigeons shot and stuffed and on display for your long, hard-hearted, fascinated stare. I am not sure, exactly, why the passenger pigeon went extinct (because I do not read the wall tags, they are boring) but I’m pretty sure that the number of them in the natural history museum gives us a pretty good guess.

Hooray for scientific inquiry!

One of the videos (some videos are less boring than wall tags and therefore worth viewing, some, but not all) said that less than 1% of the Natural History Museum’s stuffed specimens are on display.

Less than 1%.

1%.

So, If I saw, say, 1,200 stuffed specimens (birds, mammals, fish, etc.), what is that multiplied by 100%? Other than a lot, which is my answer, since I’m really bad at math.

Perhaps if I read more wall tags I’d be better at math?

Possible, but unlikely.

But, frankly, who cares! I got to pretend to be a barnacle filter-feeding in the pacific, not that they were specifically Pacific barnacles, or at least, I don’t think they were. But I can’t be sure. Wall tags, you know.

A Highly Accurate Depiction of Barnacles Filter Feeding

Also, The Chicago Natural History Museum has (drum roll please!) Mold-A-Rama machines!

Seriously, Life Gets No Better.

For those of you who did not grow up going to the Los Angeles Zoo this probably means nothing to you.

But for those of us who went to the zoo when we were very little we remember these machines as being the ones that would produce blisteringly hot plastic animals in primary colors for the price of a few quarters (now inflated to two dollars, but so worth it).

So, meet Cal. Trans. my new dinosaur friend:

Who, really, is the perfect ending to a highly educational day.